I
found “Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic” (Bechdel, Alison. Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic.
Boston and New York: Mariner Books, 2006) to be an intriguing book on many
different levels, including issues concerning conformity in a small town
environment, marriage and family, perceptions regarding life and death,
parent-child relationships, and gender roles in our society. Of these
multi-faceted issues, the one that caught my attention was how gender roles
were addressed in the book.
American
society has a rather strict set of prescribed gender roles amongst the
countries in the industrialized world. Although there are still quite a few
countries in the world that have even more rigid codes of dress and behavior
for men and women than
our country
(many countries in Latin America, Africa, and the Arabic world), America has stricter codes compared to the
Germanic and Nordic countries of Europe (Germany ,
Sweden , Norway , Iceland ). It is interesting to note
that the Latin American countries have their own brand of “machismo” ingrained
in their culture, and that it is a different type of machismo than what is
found in Arabic nations, or even that which is seen in the English-speaking
world (United States , Canada , Australia ,
Britain ).
Historically, the English-speaking world was founded by colonial Britain and
grew to prominence under a “frontiersman” mentality that prevails in the gender
stereotypes and behavioral expectations of both genders to this day
(perceptions that men are stronger and braver than women, whereas women are
seen as being more domestic and passive). The fact that America has been
a warring society since the 1800’s has only helped to perpetuate this dichotomy
in gender roles. Since many females oppose warfare and the devastation wrought
by it, warring societies belittle women and their roles in an attempt to dominate
the agenda.
“Fun
Home” focuses on societal expectations of gender appearance as well as that of
gender roles and hobbies. Bechdel states, “I hate pink! I hate flowers.”(Ibid.
p. 7) “I developed contempt for useless ornament. If anything, they obscured
function. They were embellishments in the worst sense.”(Ibid. p. 16) Was Bechdel
rejecting the differential socialization of gender roles that put forth the
notion that females should “adorn” themselves in order to attract a man? This
demonstrates a common trait by LGBT individuals of rejecting (or at least
revising) gender standards that are bestowed upon them by family and society at
large.
“Of all his domestic inclinations,
my father’s decided bend for gardening was the most redolent to me of the
other, more deeply disturbing bend. What kind of a man but a sissy could
possibly love flowers this ardently?” What is meant by the word ‘sissy’? Why
would a man who loved flowers and gardening be perceived in such a way? It may
not be a “macho” hobby (like hunting, or football), but one should keep in mind
the fact that many hobbies and professions that were once thought to be the
exclusive domain of one gender or the other have since shifted in our society. In
the 1800’s, it was unthinkable to have a woman work as a secretary (Dr. Watson
was Sherlock Holmes’ secretary). Women writers had to publish their works under
male pseudonyms because no one would publish a woman’s work otherwise. Amelia
Earhart had to battle discrimination when she decided to become a pilot.
Mozart’s sister, Maria Anna, didn’t get the commissions and recognition that he
received because she was female, despite the fact that she was a talented pianist
and harpsichord player, as well as composing her own music. After 1769, she was
no longer permitted to show her artistic abilities once she reached
marriageable age. (http://en.wikipedia.org/Marie_Anna_Mozart) How many
countless men and women in history did not reach their full potential because
the society in which they lived in discouraged their talent and abilities
solely based on which gender they were born as? To call a man a sissy for his
taste and choices only serves to reinforce nonsensical gender codes and
discourages more individuals of both genders from freely choosing their
hobbies, interests, professions, and behavior in their lives. The entire
spectrum of human possibilities should be available to both genders. Those who
break free from societal expectations of gender and carve their own path in
life shouldn’t be viewed as sissies but rather as brave individuals. The real sissies are men who hide behind
crew cuts, macho attitudes, drab, ill-fitting clothes, and a dilapidated
appearance.
I remember feeling a surge of hope
in the 1990’s when many young men I knew grew their hair long and brought color
& texture into their wardrobe. I thought, “Wow! Men are finally breaking
free from the boring old mold.” That, sadly, was short-lived because next came grunge
with its lame colors and the “rockstar who still milks Bessie in the barn”
look. Men’s hair styles got short, color and texture disappeared again, tattoos
were in and style was out. Now, both businessmen and “avant-garde” artists
& musicians alike shave their heads under the mistaken impression that that constitutes masculine beauty.
The shifting norms of gender roles are
important to LGBT individuals because first of all, it affects how these
individuals view themselves, secondly, how the LGBT community perceives those
within the community, and thirdly, how society at large views the LGBT community
and those individuals within it.
Media and popular culture depicts
gender roles as being based on nature (“that’s just the way man/women are”). In
fact, gender roles are based more on nurture than on nature. Boys and girls are
taught in our society to play with different toys (toy soldiers vs. dolls),
play different ways (rough-housing vs. dress up), and are encouraged to pursue
different hobbies (skateboarding vs. making beaded jewelry). This sort of
dichotomy is actually counter-productive for individuals as well as
counter-productive for society at large. For example, when boys are taught how
to fight and defend themselves against attack and girls aren’t, then many girls
grow up not knowing how to defend themselves in a domestic violence situation
or against a would-be rapist. I grew up in a rough neighborhood and, as a
result, was able to fight. That ability has helped me on more than one occasion
in which I was confronted with would-be rapists (on one occasion, I
successfully fought off two males who tried to gang-rape me). This is an
important skill that every woman must have, it makes no difference that society
views fighting as un-ladylike. By the same token, when girls are given baby
dolls and taught how to change nappies, feed hungry babies, and rock them to
sleep, yet boys are not taught these skills, some males grow up conditioned to
believe that taking care of babies is a woman’s job. This sort of conditioning
only serves to perpetuate the epidemic of dead-beat-dads that plagues our
society. That, in turn, contributes to poverty (since dead-beat-dads rarely
contribute economically to their children’s standard of living),
over-population (dead-beat-dads often irresponsibly and haphazardly ejaculate
without concern for the consequences of their actions – they rarely use
birth-control, again, viewing that as a solely woman’s responsibility),
violence (since boys with no father-figure often are filled with anger at their
father’s rejection of them). If society were to teach young boys parental skills,
like what is being taught to young girls, perhaps the major societal woe of
dead-beat-dads would wane.
It is important that we, as a
society, re-assess gender roles. Many of these codes of dress, behavioral
expectations, hobbies and interests are clearly arbitrary and not based on any
innate differences between the genders. What our society sees as effeminate,
other cultures may view as masculine (skirts vs. Scottish kilts, for example). Why
shouldn’t girls skateboard? Females have better sense of balance, lower center
of gravity (hips instead of upper torso in males), and smaller stature. From a
physics standpoint, these attributes could only help females become talented
skateboarders. Why shouldn’t girls play chess? Females can assess different
positions on the board and think moves out in advance as well as any male chess
players can. The Polgar sisters (Susan, Judith, and Zsofia) have won numerous
Chess Championships and are rated as some of the highest ranking players in the
world. Susan Polgar is a 4-time World Chess Champion, 5-time Olympic Champion,
and the first women to break the gender barrier in Chess. Judith ranked #8 in
the world in 2005. Zsofia ranked #6 in the world. Why shouldn’t women be
successful pilots? All we need do is look at Amelia Earhart successfully
breaking numerous world records in aviation. Why shouldn’t men be interior
decorators or gardeners (As Bechdel’s father was)? Why shouldn’t men sew or
knit or be stay-at-home-dads? Some stricter individuals in our society may view
such “gender-benders” as gay or lesbian. Rather, let us view these individuals
who are open to broader possibilities as being more rounded people. I am proud
to say that I know straight men that either wear earrings, or have long hair,
or wear eyeliner, or love being stay-home-dads, or love to cook, or dress well
and groom themselves.
After all, what is gender, anyway? Technically,
gender is what role one plays in sexual reproduction, that being either the
producer of spermatozoa in the testes or the producer of eggs in the ovary.
Although society views gender in black & white (male & female), gender
in reality has huge gray areas. There are transsexuals, transvestites, hermaphrodites,
hijra (third gender in Indian society) (Kelly, Gary . Sexuality Today: The Human
Perspective. Guilford , Connecticut : Dushkin Publishing Group, 1994
p. 97) , and berdache (third gender in numerous North American societies)
(Ibid. p. 97) just to name a few. Where would these individuals fit in if we
were to have a black & white view of gender? What would their roles in
society be? What hobbies would be “permissible”? These are all complex
questions requiring complex assessments of the question of gender and gender
roles.
What is gender determined by? From a
Psychosexual Development standpoint, gender is determined by 1) Chromosomal
Gender at fertilization, 2) Gonadal Gender in utero in the first trimester, 3)
Hormonal Gender third month onward in utero, 4) Internal Sexual anatomy, 5)
External Sexual Anatomy (4 and 5 during second and third month of life).(Francoeur,
Robert T., ed. A Descriptive Dictionary and Atlas of Sexology. New York : Greenwood
Press, 1991 p. 748, see attachment)
It is commonly viewed that
testosterone is the “male” hormone and estrogen is the “female” hormone. Yet, males
need estrogen in order to have healthy spermatogenesis. Estrogen in males is
produced in small amounts in the Leydig cells in the testes. (Ibid. p. 341)
Females, in turn, produce small amounts of testosterone in the ovaries and
adrenal glands. (Ibid. p. 659) This only illustrates that we are all a mixture
of the both genders. It would be healthy for us as individuals to embrace that
fact of nature.
Works
Cited
Bechdel, Alison. Fun Home: A
Family Tragicomic. New York :
Mariner Books, 2006.
Francoeur, Robert T. (ed.). A
Decriptive Dictionary and Atlas of Sexology. New York :
Greenwood
Press, 1991.
Kelly, Gary . Sexuality Today: The Human Perspective.
4th edition. Guilford ,
CT : Dushkin Publishing Group,
1994.
“Mozart, Marie Anna.” Wikipedia.org.
1 March 2009. <http://wikipedia.org/Marie_Anna-Mozart.
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